[ the second ‘meditation’ that has been sitting in here waiting to be posted.. ]

Hiro does not know what he is doing, what he is preparing for. That’s okay, though. Most of programming is a matter of laying groundwork, building structures of words that seem to have no particular connection to the task at hand. p. 351 Snow Crash by Neal Stephenson

this is what i told myself all last year… it’s what i heard from people i respect and have a little faith in… ‘this is all going to be important later…’, ‘your work is foundational’, things like that… okay, so while i find it a bit refreshing to read this in print [ even if it’s a cyberpunk/post-cyberwhatever novel, it’s still a classic ] i clearly recognize that in the same sitting i got to the part where this preparation payed off… i can’t say the same thing for the work that i was doing last year. alright, i don’t want to sound too negative here. i enjoyed the work and i learned a lot of things… i just don’t really have the confidence that it is even in the right ballpark. i’m not looking for a pep talk; i know i am fairly smart and that learning some new things will ultimately be good, even if it’s just an exercise. but i still have questions and fears and motivation issues that are compounded by these questions and fears…