yikes… i realize that i have several unfinished blog posts sitting in here waiting to be thoroughly considered and just shot into the wild and a few more ‘meditations’ swimming around inside my head… so i’m just going to give them a sort of cursory review and get them out… no use waiting until they are ‘profound’ and ‘polished’… that would just go against everything i’m trying to convince myself is right… “alpha is the new beta!” “release early, release often!” “make something that works first because you can’t fix what you don’t have” and so on and so forth… so, here’s the quote for the day…

Until a man is twenty-five, he still thinks, every so often, that under the right circumstances he could be the baddest motherfucker in the world. If I moved to a martial-arts monastery in China and studied real hard for ten years. If my family was wiped out by Colombian drug dealers and I swore myself to revenge. If I got a fatal disease, had one year to live, devoted it to wiping out street crime. If I just dropped out and devoted my life to being bad. p. 271 Snow Crash by Neal Stephenson

i read this and thought yep, that’s true… i’ve actually been thinking along those lines, in some way, for a few years now… after crossing into my third decade [ and with a few years to reflect on it ] i can empathize with this quote… i’m trying to convince myself that it’s not the truth, that i can still be that badMF whenever i choose to, but i’m not so sure… i don’t see myself as a risk-taker in the way that would garner that moniker [ notwithstanding the recent quit your good job to go back to art school then move to new york without a job ‘risk’ ] i’m more of a thinker than a doer [ though, again, i am trying to at least intertwine those categories ] i usually think of myself as a late bloomer… i never really got into computers until after college, i didn’t really have much of a childhood involvement with LEGO like most of my peers… i ease into music scenes and fashion just as they are going out of style [ or if i’m lucky, as they are coming back in ] … in fact, i was only recently called an ‘early adopter’, and only once, about something that i felt after i had gotten into it, was on it’s way out… on it’s way to becoming subsumed by other technology… and to bring this sort of full circle, i only heard about Snow Crash in the last year and just barely finished it! to close this meditation or maybe ramble… i’m not trying to get down on myself or pretend that 32 is old or anything like that… rather, i’m hoping that the ‘corrected for inflation’ translation of the above quote includes me in the desired age bracket… that’s all.