well… here i am on vacation… actually sitting in my friend’s living room at some unwholesome hour of the morning thinking about… a lot of things i suppose. i’ve left the desktop pc in michigan and since blogger doesn’t permit the uploading of images via a mac you will have to live without any picture updates for awhile. maybe you’ve already given up on my updates… it has been a while already. if i wasn’t so lazy, i would upload some images from my brand spankin’ new camera phone to that textamerica thingy i have set up… i’ll do that soon, promise… maybe tomorrow. got some new pics from the bbq today and my short reunion/excursion to santa monica friday night. you will enjoy those… still have to work out the mms issue with my phone. i hope i don’t have to take it back to the point of purchase for an exchange… that would take me a little out of the way.
anyhow, i was thinking about all the things that occupy my little mind when i have a free moment and one of those things is how little i feel like i have to say… i’ve been getting a fair amount of attention lately; questions about my future plans [both short and long term] and about my first year in grad school and in michigan… questions about my new friends [maybe one in particular] and although i am happy to consider these things and happy that others are interested in my life, i realize that i don’t have as much to say [nor do i have as much figured out] as i expected i would when talking about it… i’m not so much worried about that, but i do feel a little behind the curve sometimes. i think i have always felt that way… but maybe i just overthink things… i remember reading in some summary of my personality type that, and i’ll just paraphrase, i feel that life is a very important thing and the decisions to be made regarding it are not to be taken lightly. now, i’ve considered that to be a cumbersome trait at times, but things have been working out fairly well…
i had a conversation earlier in the day that reminded me that speaking to someone is not always the easiest way to communicate. maybe, as hard harry put it, ‘i can’t talk’… and it’s that simple… i can talk thru my fingers and thru my eyes and thru my presense and my work… but the spoken word has always been difficult. an uncontrolled source that makes me slightly uneasy. and like this post [which is quite lengthy for someone who ‘didn’t have much to say’] i didn’t know how to end that conversation… and it made me smile because it was mutual, but it made me uneasy because i found myself looking at the situation with irony and a smirk… which wasn’t how i wanted to look at it and i think that is one of the things that happens with telephone conversations and those who ‘can’t talk’… or maybe i’m just tired and my mind is fluttering around poking into areas that should just be left alone for now.
in spite of the mind games i play with myself at night and in those free moments, i really am enjoying my short journey back to the golden state…